at the moment with a certain amount of apprehension brought on by a phone call by my prospective, future employer. I was due to go on the afternoon school run with her today. Just about 1.30 she called to say that I wasn't needed because there were only three children to pick up as there had been a lot of call offs - she was taking the car and not the mini-bus. Ok I thought, not a problem. Then she said, "I'll call back later. I need to have a chat with you." So I'm starting to think that maybe she wasn't happy with my driving last week; maybe she has miscalculated the business plan and she can't employ me; maybe she doesn't like me anymore. "Father God I come before you and once again I place myself in your will for my life. Amen."
Yesterday morning we had Joseph Steinberg from "Jews for Jesus" giving an explanation of the relevance of the Passover meal. Excellent speaker. Wonderful stuff! He is an American Jew who has dual British/American citizenship, lives in England and is an ordained Church of England minister.
Myself and Kriss stayed home on Saturday evening and ordered Chinese which was good.
Kriss back at work today and whilst I miss her it's nice being able to get on with stuff that I want to get on with whilst I'm at home on my own!
In just ten days it will be six months since my heart attack. Time flies whilst you are having a good time!!! Two things that I think I've become more aware of:
(1) I need to slow down both physically and spiritually. The first to get back to some sort of good general fitness and the second to "run the race" more steadfastly.
(2) I am learning more & more to listen properly to God. I am not an academic but I know that God has been teaching me more and more about my relationship with Him and about my relationship with myself! Strange thing to say? Well not really - you see I never had any affirmation from my mum and that was the most significant relationship I had as I was growing up. So consequently I have always been hard on myself. I have never been good enough in anything I have done; I still, from time to time, call myself stupid if say I spill something or I forget something. But you see, the more you speak those things into your life the more the evil one can deceive you. Satan only has the power to deceive us; he is a beaten enemy and has no physical power over us - we need to speak out the victory we have, in and through Jesus, boldly and with conviction! A phrase that came out of a recent day of prayer & fasting in our fellowship was, "We need to militantly believe!" We need to tell the evil one that he has no power over us and remind him that he is defeated!
Well hopefully it will not be too long before I get "the phone call" and then I can sort things out; hopefully inline with God's plan.
