it has been an eventful few days.
Last Saturday I attended a first aider's course which lasted from 0900 - 1600 but probably could have been done in about 2/3 of that time. There was too much medical info which probably gave us too much info about various medical conditions. Presentation wasn't particularly attention grabbing with the only visual aids being the various size mannequins to try out the resucitation techniques. So by the time I got back home I was feeling that weariness that you get from sitting down all day having to listen to just one person! Not good.
It's dark by 5pm now so all I wanted to do was have supper and settle down to a nice comfortable evening of basically doing nothing - which was succesfully achieved!!!
Sunday morning worship time was beautiful and Sunday evening was a great blessing which was good because we were actually considering the benefits of being blessed and blessing other people and places!
During the evening service Pastor Dave led us in a 'wave blessing'!!! So, there we were, in Pinetree House, waving to our Father in heaven! And I had this mental picture of waving to my dad, as he was coming home one day, when I was about 8 years old. Dad was at the front door of our home and I was about 30 yards away at the top of what we kids used to call the hill. In reality it was all the rubble and earth that had been cleared away when the housing estate was built. All this earth had been spread out and had become naturally overgrown with grass and it was a big part of my early years as we built dens there and we used to ride our bikes up and down it.
So I'm waving down to my dad and he is waving back at me and then the mental picture changed. I'm now at my front door and I'm looking up to the hill and I'm waving to God who is standing at the top of the hill. God is waving back at me and calling out my name! And on Sunday evening that's where this image ended.
Monday morning I'm with Pastors Dave & Louise and we are discussing the stuff that I've been sharing with Louise over these last few weeks. We had identified a bitter root judgement against my mum because of her treatment of me as a child. Although I had recognised and forgiven her because of her MS and depression, Louise felt that there was this bitterness still in me and this had, over the years, manifested itself in various ways. I have always had a problem with low self esteem and not really being able to take even justified criticism. There was an element of inverse pride in that I would often feel like saying, "How dare you treat me like that!" or "How dare you say that to me!".
Dad was a man with a bad temper at times and I had inherited that from him, [copied behaviour] so consequently I have had a bad temper and a sense of anger towards myself if I had done something which I considered to be stupid to do like knocking over a drink or dropping something!
So there we were talking about this mental picture I had, with God waving back at me from the top of the hill. Pastor Dave says, "So where is God now?" I closed my eyes and God starts walking down the hill towards me with His arms open wide, ready to hold me and hug me. I start to describe this image and I just broke down; the tears flowed; God was holding me so close in His arms and telling me how much He loves me. I received an amazing time of prayer ministry and the bitter root judgement has been cut away and the generational anger has been broken! Praise God! But it was distressing to confess and repent of the generational anger because it felt that I was speaking against the memory and honour of my dad - but I wasn't, Praise God. It had to be broken and it was!
So yesterday was the first day of the rest of my new life in Christ and life in all its abundance!
Have been to the medical centre this morning to have some blood taken so my cholestoral level can be checked. It's just over a year since I had the second stent put in and the doc reckons I'm looking really good. I've lost about 10 pounds in weight these last 6 months and I'm staying active because of my work. I will be able to stop taking the blood thinning drug at the end of the month so that should help with the occasional tiredness I feel from time to time. But heh, God is good!!!
So, all in all things are pretty good. I know I will have to guard against the wiles of the evil one but I put on the spiritual armour, from Epeshians 6, every morning. I choose to live the life that God has given me and I stand on the promises from His Word that lift me up to live His abundant life.
Thank you Father. Amen.
